Applebee’s is a disappointment to the neighborhood.

The restaurant is an American staple: the “American grill & bar” of every neighborhood. “Eatin’ good in the neighborhood,” its slogan says: a flat-out lie, if you ask me, about the local Applebee’s.

I explored the neighborly charm of our 2-year-old Applebee’s, and I found a few things worthy of discussion. Most notably, the wall decorations: an array of poor-quality posters that feed customers’ nostalgia.

Jewel and the boys of “O, Brother, Where Art Thou?” in the hallway to the bathroom; Martin Short, Tom Cruise and Drew Barrymore above the windows; and, behold, Harper Joy Theatre’s season calendar behind a booth.

This Whitman paraphernalia on the wall seemed a bit out of place, though, given the customer base was mostly local. There were a lot of young families and older couples, but few Whitman students, if any.

Serving soggy, moldy lettuce in an Oriental Chicken Salad ($7), stale, tasteless iced tea, and miniscule portions of meat under the guise of a “Weight Watchers” choice ($12), however, does not seem inviting, hospitable, or appropriate given the that we paid them to serve us the food advertised on the menu, a challenge they did not meet with success.

It is difficult to make deep-fried onions or cheese taste bad, however, so if you find yourself at this Applebee’s, do yourself a favor and stick with the Onion Peels ($6) or Sticks ($7). And if you are Vegetarian or Vegan, do not come to Applebee’s hoping for a feast. You can order a salad sans the chicken, or the appetizer Veggie Patch Pizza ($6), or your choice of soup ($4), most of which have cream bases.

And if you are watching your weight, luckily for you they have a Weight Watchers Menu. It includes lunch and dinner choices ($7-$10) marked with the point system that Weight Watchers dieters follow. But the Italian Chicken & Portobello Sandwich ($8) off this menu was dry and the portion small for the price.

Applebee’s menu was made, in part, with the help of celebrity chef Tyler Florence, but perhaps Florence made a mistake in allowing his name on this menu that does not deliver that which it proposes.

The only good thing: the service. It was quick, pleasant, and smiling for the duration of our dinner. It seemed a busy night, but the waitress arrived in good time to take our orders and the food was out quickly as well. And it is difficult to argue with convenience, so their “Carside To Go” program, which allows you to call in an order and pick it up 20 minutes later (a step away from a drive-thru, really) is very successful.

Overall, I suggest trying one of the local eateries over Applebee’s any day. End up at Applebee’s because it is the only place open, or because some twist of fate demands your presence: not because you want to.

If You Go:
Located: 1604 Plaza Way
Phone: (509) 526-0075
Price: $$ / $$$$$
Rating: H / HHHHH