Four Day: For some, a time of rest, relaxation and rejuvenation. For others, a time to push their limits and explore new interests. Although both routes may lead to an adequate four days, the real fun comes after your break has ended. Much like a peacock showing off its impressive plumage, students return from four day and put on the ritual display of their dauntless trials undergone or the depths of their sloth. At first, the stories of students’ four days are tame: “I went camping with friends” or “I played Stardew Valley and had tea.” But story after story, students begin to embellish their tales and one up each other: “I hiked 100 miles in four days” and “I haven’t moved from the couch since break started, I’m currently in a state between life and death.” ETC ETC.  

What once was a wonderful break from school has become an ugly competition of ego and pride, so I’ve taken it upon myself these past four days to put an end to it. I have subjected myself to herculean trials of both great physical and mental toil as well as the depths of sloth and laziness. I subjected myself to a backpacking trip with nothing more than a Nalgene and a handful of oats to make sure my pack was light. My feet were covered in blisters by the end of the first day as I trekked through the night once I set up my one person extra small super lightweight backpacking tent. Once inside my tent I would allow my muscles to atrophy as I sunk into an amorphous blob that can only relax. I then repeated this cycle of extreme physical toil, forged rivers and what not and then became the embodiment of relaxation and laziness. If that is not enough to convince you of my four days’ greatness, then please note that I also saved a number of puppies and volunteered at local orphanages. I hope my trip can bring the students of this school peace and stop the petty bickering over whose trip was harder, as we can all agree mine was. You’re welcome.