Are you a first-year trying to decide what to major in? A sophomore about to declare? Or a senior who just realized you accidentally declared Astrology instead of Astronomy? Keep stressing kids, because Whitman has just made it a little more difficult to decide what to do with the rest of your life with the introduction of several new combined majors.

Predicted to be among the most popular of the new majors, Psychology-Geology offers students the opportunity to combine clinical psychology research with the great outdoors. For the senior seminar, Whitties will study the way rocks think, behave and act in relation to themselves, the environment and the social world in hopes of better understanding these elusive clumps of Earth.   

Another new major, Astronomy-Gender Studies, integrates the extraterrestrial and the role of gender in planets besides Earth. One of the requirements for this major is to travel to another planet and study the life there. While most planets are home to thriving civilizations, some, such as Uranus, are rather hostile and only allow small bug-like humans to survive. Astronomy-Gender Studies advisers assign students to certain planets that they feel fit their personalities, so if you end up cold and alone on Uranus, you must suck it up and study the genders and identities of whatever you find.

Additionally, Whitman plans to introduce a combined language major: Chinese-Latin-English-French-German-Japanese-Spanish. For the thesis for this major, the student must translate the dictionary into all seven of the languages and then memorize the different versions. This may sound like a lot of work, but just imagine how confusing (and therefore intriguing) your resume will look to employers.