As Whitman College begrudgingly catches up with the twenty-first century by removing such highly visible vestiges of colonialism as the mascot and the name of this newspaper, efforts have been directed towards rehabilitating the image of Prentiss Hall. For years now, the all-women’s dormitory has been stereotyped as a repressive, stuffy environment hostile to any mixed-sex mingling unless said mingling involves a spirited endorsement of abstinence-only sex education. It is speculated by many that this reputation may be amplified by the glaring difference between the policing of sorority women and fraternity men, but this rumor has yet to be confirmed. To combat the unfavorable reputation of being an uncomfortably well-lit, sexless dungeon with fancy rugs, Prentiss residence life staff have launched a 10-part study break series addressing the theme of penetration.

The aim of the study breaks is to address the evident lack of discussion surrounding penetration in all forms. “We really want to de-stigmatize the idea of penetration here in Prentiss. In this day and age, the painting of Narcissa Whitman looming in the Great Hall just isn’t as effective of a contraceptive as it used to be,” said one RA, “It’s time to address penetration openly and safely.” 

The event line-up is still in the works, but an inside source revealed that there will be penetration-themed cookie decorating, guest lectures on the etymology of penetration and plenty of uncomfortable eye contact. Res Life has also rented the school’s button maker, but has yet to develop a slogan or a logo that doesn’t compel Kathy Murray to hand in a letter of resignation. Since study breaks are consistently well-attended, especially by the sorority women, Res Life staff are optimistic about changing the culture surrounding Prentiss.

Hopefully, these efforts will help to bring Whitman to a more progressive stance on Prentiss’ reputation and the larger theme of women’s autonomy on campus. Res Life staff also said they hope the conversation extends beyond just sexual penetration and creates a dialogue about other ways to remove the Prentiss stigma. For example, all students should feel free to penetrate the doors of Prentiss and enter the building, and students can penetrate each other’s rooms and make the hall a comfortable social space. Said one RA, “we want to gain the same kind of traction that the consent movement did, sort of like how we have a consent culture, we want to have a healthy penetration culture.”