I remember my winters, waiting out in the morning for the school bus. It was always still dark. I had my fists in my pockets because I always lost my gloves. I remember what my mom would say when I would come home with missing gloves. I have a bad memory, but I will always remember this.

I remember riding on the school bus. I remember the way I could never sit comfortably in those brown school bus seats. I remember how nobody talked to each other in the mornings. I remember sharing earbuds with different people. Sometimes it was people I had crushes on. I remember “Hey There Delilah.” I had my first slow dance to “Hey There Delilah.” “Hey There Delilah” was the first song I learned how to sing on guitar.

I remember toaster waffles. I remember feeling the days after Christmas. I remember sledding and coming home after it got dark. I remember our kitchen table. I remember doing my homework. I remember eating snow. I remember how to make a snowball. I remember putting up Christmas lights on our porch. I remember staying up late listening to the radio. I remember crying a lot. I remember the blue sky.

I remember snow days. I remember making footprints in the snow. I remember bringing lunch to school. Everyone else would have pop. My mom would make me a Nutella, peanut butter, banana sandwich. She would cut it into triangles. I remember being the only one who ate their crusts. I love you, Mom. Thank you.  

I remember growing pubes. I remember getting teased for reading books all the time in homeroom. I was too embarrassed to bring books to school after that.

I remember my bathroom mirror. I remember my sister’s haircuts. I remember pretending to be sick and staying home. I remember spelling tests. I remember getting good grades. I remember watching Bill Nye in science class. I remember my bed and my pillow.

I remember wondering if anyone else in the world was real. I remember feeling alone.

I remember one night. I turned off all the lights in my room and looked out the window. Swirls of frost had gathered on the glass, and it I could feel the cold against my cheeks. It was snowing. I remember saying to myself, “This is it.”

The snow continued to fall deep into the night, slowly covering the world. One flake at a time, one flake at a time.