“This is a Lewis dot structure . . . sort of . . . kinda.”

“I once read ‘The History of Chemistry’ . . . it was pretty boring.”

“The periodic table is a work of art.”

“I was wearing a shirt [with some kind of structure on it] and someone stopped me and said, ‘I’m offended by your shirt because it has women’s breasts on it.’ ”

“People were pretty dirty until 3500 BC.”

“This guy, Leucippos . . . that looks Greek, right . . . yeah, he’s Greek.”

“Germans have always been good with science and other things that aren’t so popular.”

“I sat by a guy who looked a lot like this at a concert.”

“This guy did something stupid in lab and won a Nobel Prize for it.”

“That’s on page 43 and all over the internet.”

“Let’s say 1905, I’ll make it up.”

“This is not right . . . maybe it is . . .”

“They were spraying oil (like perfume) . . . can’t get a lot of dates that way.”

“He’s the only thing that’s ever come out of New Zealand.”

“They were going through models like toilet paper.”

“Physics was pretty easy around 1900; we could have all gotten A’s.”

“The protons were flying around all willy-nilly . . . doing whatever.”

“Who invented the  light bulb? . . . Franklin?”

“He has a crap-eating smile and won the easiest Nobel Prize. He’s one of the luckiest clowns in history.”

“I’m scared of the ocean. Sharks eat people.”