Memo to Club Latino: While reviewing your request to fund activities for your club over the coming semester, I had a few thoughts regarding the nature of your events.

In the spirit of encouraging diversity, I feel that Club Latino’s celebration of the Cuban Missile Crisis, the “Cinco de Mayo” festival (to be held on the fifth of May), could perhaps do more to represent Latino culture. Looking over the planned events, I see that it mostly involves musical acts, cake and something called “tamales.” I’m not exactly sure what a tamale is, but it sounds very spicy. I suggest that instead you choose a food that all students can recognize as diverse. Perhaps burritos? Quesadillas? Does Taco Bell cater?

Let’s not mince words. Your club is essential to promoting diversity at Whitman. Why are you hiding your diversity? We can’t afford to waste funds on non-diverse activities. And if you’re non-diverse, you’re anti-di- verse. Why are you anti-diversity?

Having taken Alternative Core one and a half times, I went ahead and drew up a list of things you can do to really kick your diversity up a notch:

Battle Star Galactica Marathon, because I’m 80 percent sure Admiral Adama is Latino, which brings up all sorts of questions about whether or not Lee Adama was adopted, but I digress.

• Mexican-American War-themed water balloon fight
• International Burrito Festival (featuring burritos from around the world)
• Marc Anthony children’s choir tribute
• Spanish pronunciation workshop taught by Dora the Explorer
• Telemundo viewing exploration
• Spanish language soap opera themed party (bring makeup and a gun!)
• Crêpe party

I really think you guys can do this. I believe in you.

Also, one more thing. I love piñatas. I can still remember my first piñata party: whoo boy: and I have been passionately interested in your culture ever since. If there are two things this campus could use more of, it’s piñatas and diversity.

Diversely yours, Abe Johnson ASWC Executive Public Representation Chair