Capricorn
You tried to hold it together — rations, rotations, spreadsheets — but the weight of it all hit hard. You became a zombie at some undetermined hour, wandering quietly, contemplatively. Capricorn men in particular are known across the wasteland for being either zombie prostitutes or humans offering questionable services to the undead. No one’s totally sure what’s going on. Capricorn women zombies are enjoying their freedom from the confines of society and the complexities of their human mind.

Aquarius
Your survival era was iconic. You built solar panels out of trash, whittled tools, and helped Pisces reinforce the breadmaking fort. Your downfall came while chopping wood shirtless, a true tragedy. As a zombie, you’re strangely chill, vaguely apathetic and occasionally mime chopping wood with one half-attached limb. Still shirtless.

Pisces
You are the soul of the post-apocalyptic commune. You bake bread with wild yeast and wisdom, offer spiritual counsel in the sniper tower and sometimes disappear for days only to return with perfect river stones and new herbs. You’ve survived so long that people are starting to think you might not be entirely human anymore. Still, you can’t help being disappointed by the food options.

Aries
You wandered for a while, not totally sure what the plan was but confident there was one. You joined a few different survivor groups, never quite staying put, and somehow always managed to be around when things went wrong. Eventually you met your end dramatically and fell in a slo-mo death drop. As a zombie, you’re oddly aimless but enthusiastic, still trying to hangout with the group and for a while they just let you.

Taurus
You found a cabin in the woods, started a garden, and taught others how to boil water and calm down. You’re the friend who makes sure people eat and rest then throws hands when someone touches your supplies. You somehow survive by sleeping through every zombie invasion. Either that or you take yourself out back and you know (it’s a fair response in this situation).

Gemini
Most of you adapted instantly (the others lacked the skills to survive without a microwave). Some of you became leaders, others puppeteers, all of you were… strangely thriving. You hosted fireside story nights, brokered commune diplomacy, and either started or joined a vibey cult. You either died suddenly or are still out there, planting kale and secrets.

Cancer
You made it a while thanks to your Costco compound and color-coded inventory. You thrived in your stake out protected by others who wanted to fight. When you turned, it was bittersweet, but zombie-you felt a new sense of freedom. No schedules. No spreadsheets. Just vibes and the occasional groan. The world is suddenly so simple and beautiful.

Leo
You were the heart of the group, always hilarious, warm, and up for a dramatic retelling of the day’s horror. You insisted you could “take that one zombie” alone. It didn’t go well. Still, people tell your story around the campfire, and that’s kind of what you wanted anyway. Sometimes they even wish zombie-you would come back and be the group’s loyal and slightly dramatic undead pet.

Virgo
You rationed supplies, led safety drills, and created the world’s most orderly shellfish farm. At some point you either got bit and made a spreadsheet to cope or quietly disappeared into the hills to control your own ending. Zombie-you walks the coastline now, categorizing shells and reminiscing on the days when you could end the day with reality tv instead of sewing your arm back on.

Libra
You shaved your head for practicality and made a stunning utility sweater from the hair. You gave up trying very early on because what’s the point anyway. Your ghost occasionally appears to friends, mostly to provide moral support and some justified judgement of their life choices.

Scorpio
You either became the post-apocalyptic legend who survives by sheer force of vengeance, or you died trying to retrieve the last Twinkie from a collapsing vending machine. Either way, you did it with intensity. Your zombie form probably remembers the password to your Minecraft account and still holds grudges (as if becoming a zombie would change things).

Sagittarius
The stress gave you purpose. You strategized, theorized, and sent others to execute your visions. When you got bit, you hid it, either being you were committed to staying useful until the very end or it was some apocalypse trope you were set on living out. Zombie-you occasionally climbs onto rooftops to monologue about ethics and free will or the nuances of your thesis research. The other zombies don’t get it.