For most of us, middle school made up the best years of our lives. Nothing comes close to the feeling of learning about your body during puberty, or realizing that the popular kids will never actually accept you. The highlight of junior high, though, was undoubtedly the planking fad. Who could resist the high that came along with lying flat on your stomach in random locations with your hands glued to your sides?

With a notable lack of planking in recent years, Whitties created their own activity that is taking college duck ponds by storm: “ducking.” For this new fad, students are adding plastic ducks to Lakum Duckum, much to the concern of ducks and administration alike.

“‘Ducking’ is the worst,” Molly Mallard, a resident duck of Lakum Duckum complained. “It’s so hard to tell whether the plastic ducks are real or not. Once I was flirting with an attractive duck, but it turned out it was fake. The worst part is, I though it liked me. Talk about a blow to my self esteem.”

The administration voiced similar concerns. Web B. Feat, head of the Duck Upholding Commission (DUC), stated that “ducking” is harmful for the emotional well-being of the ducks in Lakum Duckum, and that the trend must stop in order to avoid an impending duck revolt.

Whitties claim that “ducking” has increased open-mindedness and decreased microagressions within the duck community. Some ducks are actually scheduled to host a talk at this year’s Power and Privilege Symposium. So while the longevity of “ducking” is uncertain, its lessons about acceptance seem to be here to stay.