Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 6
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Illustration by Megan Waldau

Theatre reportedly not doing another musical for the next 400,000 years

Anthony Reale, Skrillex Apologist September 24, 2018

After the success of its last musical, Cats, Jarper Hoy Theatre enjoyed a brief moment in the spotlight on Whitman’s campus.  Students were violently interested in when the next show would return to...

Rock Climbing?? Haven’t We Evolved Past That?

Maude Lustig, Cutie Patootie September 24, 2018

No one wants to say it because they’re afraid some rock climbing bro with bulging triceps will put them in an inescapable armlock. But not me. I learned long ago that the best way to escape an armlock...

I Am Part of the Resistance Inside TKE

CJ Fritz, Self-Proclaimed Hero September 24, 2018

The TKE house at Whitman College faces a test to its fraternity that threatens to bring the entire brotherhood crumbling down. It’s not just that women, queer and trans people, people of color, and people...

Area dog owners fed up with unpaid labor

CJ Fritz, Amateur Porcupine Hugger September 23, 2018

A crisis in unpaid labor is gripping the Walla Walla area. Exploitative practices and unchecked privilege have led to the abuse of some of the area’s most important workers: dogs. For 150 years,...

Illustration by Nathaly Perez

ORIENTATION IN REVIEW: IN A SURPRISING TURN OF EVENTS SEATTLE KIDS STICK TOGETHER

Maddie Ott, America's Next Top Waddle September 23, 2018

WHITMAN CAMPUS—Navigating the maze of small talk remains a laughable topic year after year at First-Year Orientation. However, if you enter Whitman campus surrounded by an abundance of familiar faces,...

Illustration by Megan Waldau

TonyTalks: Welcome Back

Anthony Reale, Crab Polisher September 23, 2018

Ah, the scent of first-year confusion. This is the one of those things that brings me back to campus every year, alongside watching first-years bump into statues and apologize, actually do homework...

In Awesome Display of Solidarity, Men are Sharing Unsolicited Dick Pics with Each Other

Winston Weigand, Pole Dancer at the Mos Eisley Cantina April 26, 2018

If there is one thing that every single human being can agree on, it’s that receiving an unsolicited picture of a man’s penis is by and far the greatest thing ever. These pictures, fondly referred...

How to Get The Classes You Didn’t Get During Registration

Ann Karneus, Kann Arneus April 26, 2018

Registration is hectic for everyone, and I know especially for underclassmen that it’s almost impossible to get all of the classes you want. You put yourself on the waitlist, you frantically email the...

Encounters Curriculum Shakedown!

Anthony Reale, Satan with a Lisp April 26, 2018

A whirlwind of hate hit the Encounters program in the face this year, bringing the controversial program under fire yet again.  Criticisms included the classic “I don’t know how to write still and...

Non-Murderers Plan for the Purge

Clara Wheeler, Celebrity Look-alike April 19, 2018

Mark your calendars, folks, it’s that time of the year again! The scent of blood is in the air, weird animal Halloween masks are on sale, and Home Alone style security measures come back into popularity....

6 Tips for Improving Your Self-Sabotage Skills this Spring

AE, Toothpick-to-the-Stars April 19, 2018

Day drink Drunk classes are way more fun. Plus, that way, the hangover kicks in right when you would do your homework, which will make it virtually impossible to do! Skip class Ah,...

Whitman Senior Fund Takes Sexy Turn

Anthony Reale, Guy Fieri's Son April 12, 2018

After multiple weeks of being ignored, receiving negative emails and fielding various incohesive threats, the Senior Fund Committee has pulled out all the stops.  Last Tuesday, the Senior Fund Streetwalkers...

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