In a shocking display of falsity and deceit, Whitman freshman Dave Atkins did not supply what he promised on the drive back to Whitman from four-day. After posting a frantic request on the [email protected]...
On Sunday morning, local man Gavin O’Neil was rushed to the hospital to be treated for shock and trauma.
According to witnesses, O’Neil had been attending brunch with friends at Bacon & Kegs...
Anthony Reale, Tooth Fairy's Ex-Wife
• October 8, 2018
The Whitman College campus was a dreary piece of shit until the renovation of Reid Campus Center was completed.
Some might say it was Stanton Hall that was the crowning jewel of the blood diamond crown...
CJ Fritz, Professional Kissing Booth Attendee
• October 8, 2018
For weeks, the Birkenstalker has terrorized the Walla Walla community, leaving Birkenstock owners clutching their sandals tighter than ever. Dogs have stopped playing, children have stopped laughing, and...
Maddie Ott, Interested in Narcotics and Black Market Frisbees
• October 8, 2018
The anticipation of the kill, the thrill of the chase, the satisfaction of accomplishing the hunt is all crucial aspects of surviving in this harsh world. Much like the biological drive to hunt and catch...
Anthony Reale, Corbin Bleu Impersonator
• September 28, 2018
President Kathyannabellemonroegeorgiajohnnabetherine Murré’s tenure as leader of the College has hit its fourth year, marking a significant moment in the College’s history. Every time a new president...
Wednesday, 4p.m. — In response to the student body’s outcry for a change, President Kathy Murray and Dean of Students Kazi Joshua have issued a joint statement declaring that Whitman College’s mascot,...
Ann Karneus, Rejected Mathlete
• September 28, 2018
Whitman first year Tom Jones, who recently finished three chapters of “The Communist Manifesto” in Encounters, thinks that he’s ready to take a stab at what exactly this Marx guy is all about. After...
Ahh … the end of September – when the leaves begin to turn, the air begins to crisp and Whitman’s campus says “adieu” to its first whole month in action. Well, all but one particular resident,...
CJ Fritz, Three Corns Stacked in a Trenchcoat
• September 28, 2018
Last week, Adidas CEO Trent Whitestick was embroiled in controversy after announcing that he prefers wearing boxers instead of briefs.
After catching wind of the shocking scandal, many Americans took...
Maude Lustig, Hot "No Diggity" Dog
• September 24, 2018
Disclaimer: The Wire must disclose that the author of the following article did not “get into” the sorority she wanted during rush. But she is NOT bitter. She made that very clear to us.
Well, it’s...
Ann Karneus, Afraid of Bicycles
• September 24, 2018
This weekend was supposed to be the finale of recruitment, where first years would attend Tea Day and ultimately decide which sorority they clicked with the most. But what happened next was nowhere to...
