Carmen Allen stares out the climbing gym window, casting her forlorn gaze across Alder Street as she relives the tragic moment. She fiddles anxiously with a carabiner.
As Allen recalls, it was 3:45...
The moment has arrived. The dreaded question of the weekend. She, the mother, squares her shoulders and looks deep into her 18-year-old son’s eyes. Without hesitation she asks, “and where shall I sleep...
My deepest fear, a re-occurring nightmare in fact, is being somewhere public with many or few people around me when I let out a horrible toot. A big honker. A whizzpopper so stinky, so loud and obvious...
Hey folks: while this week’s article may seem like a laughing matter, it is not. Those out there who are easily embarrassed: read at your own risk. I’m breaking down the question at hand because it’s...
Maude Lustig, Foot Fetishist Fetishist
• October 25, 2018
Lifelong Walla Walla resident Ralph Macchiato has certainly “nailed it...” when it comes to growing toenails that is. Hahaha. It has been 207 days since Mr. Macchiato has trimmed his toenails, and...
Anthony Reale, Dumpster City's No. 1 Food Critic
• October 25, 2018
Last Tuesday, 34 sweatband-clad Zumba dancers were cuffed and booked at the downtown branch of the Walla Walla Police Department. The dancers smiled the whole time, laughing about the various posters...
Maude Lustig, Front-Facing Cowgirl
• October 22, 2018
Oh boy, I am screwed. I mean, it’s the day before the big rodeo and I have absolutely NO idea what I’m doing! Everyone says that the first rodeo is the hardest and I’m completely out of my depths...
According to the esteemed PEW Research Center a new study was released last Monday finding that over half of Whitman graduates are now living out of their vans. From 2008 Honda Odysseys to renovated Volkswagen...
Ashlyn Quintus & Annelise Ellingboe
• October 22, 2018
Hilda,
Hi. Something is not right. My dog, a small large corgi/great dane mix named Henry, cannot stop... tooting ): Even my guests are concerned and refuse to enter my abode because of the gruesome scent....
Three weeks ago, Kevin Nance was a normal shmuck seeing a therapist every week to work through his problems. Like an idiot, for months Nance was paying for local therapist Terry Jones’ expertise backed...
A recent study by those who rightly give a shit about humanity finds that everyone who is anyone is not only pissed, but exhausted. With an administration that is constantly challenging intrinsic rights...
Maddie Ott, Allergic to Muppets
• October 12, 2018
We’ve all been there… your new iPhone 8 vibrates in your pocket and you eagerly glance at it hoping to see a text but are completely blindsided by an Apple News Update that brings your glorious liberal...
