Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 6
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Trustees want YOU! (to think they care)

Megumi Rierson, staff writer May 5, 2016

Whitman has recently undergone a number of name changes to the various campus institutions that promote a history of colonialism and a general white supremacist attitude. There’s that fun line slash...

Spin, Donut, Spin

Jack Swain, staff writer May 5, 2016

Jack lived alone in a small house at the end of the block, adjacent to the convenience store. Inside the convenience store was a sign shaped like a pink donut. The sign would spin, around and around, day...

God kinda busy right now, so hold on just a sec

Jeffrey Gustaveson, staff writer April 28, 2016

According to reports, God (of Heavenly Father fame), is kinda busy right now, so you’re just gonna have to hold on for a couple of minutes, ok? Telling reporters that the number of prayers he’s received...

Whitties Helping Non-Whitties

Megumi Rierson, staff writer April 28, 2016

As a humor writer for the Whitman College Pioneer (we’d love input on a less-racist name change, by the way), I am a vociferous proponent for making fun of the Whitman student body. Every day, I am bombarded...

ASWC Passes Pio Bylaw, Gets Off

Austin Biehl, Jeffrey Gustaveson, staff writers April 21, 2016

The night of April 17 will go down in history as the freakin’ Independence Day for members of the small, deformed, name-ambiguous situation that is The Pioneer. Queen Clarra May sent out an email to...

Crafting Comedy

Christy Carley, Staff Reporter April 14, 2016
Varsity Nordic, the group of campus improvisers whose predecessors snagged their name from the defunded nordic ski team, generally meets three times a week at 10:00 p.m.

It is April Now

Jack Swain, staff writer April 7, 2016

Your house being air conditioned in a hot summer. Overcast cloudy days that won’t stop raining. Underneath a pile of things on your desk, you find that thing you were searching for. Dogs that...

Survey Shows Survey Matters

Megumi Rierson, staff writer April 7, 2016

If you identify as a Whitman student with a pulse, chances are you’ve received a few emails with links to surveys about the various nuances of the privileged existence that society has so carefully crafted...

Mathleen Kurray Victorious in the Octagon

Trevor Lewis, staff writer April 7, 2016

Though many have questioned the somewhat unorthodox fundraising method, Mathleen Kurray donned her finest spandex and traditional mask last Saturday to participate in what has been called one of the bloodiest...

Club Disbands After Members Exhaust Dating Options

Martina Pansze April 1, 2016
Following a press release on Tuesday, the Whitman Alpine Luge Team (WALT) will be disbanding indefinitely.

Alumni and Administration Enraged About the Name Change of…What’s that Paper Called Again?

Austin Biehl, staff writer March 10, 2016

In an unexpected turn of events, it seems that people have actually read an article published in the Pioneer. Vitriolic anger exploded last week when the Pio announced its radical decision to change its...

New Study Suggests Positive Relationship Between Tenure and Apathy

Trevor Lewis, staff writer March 10, 2016

While it has yet to be peer-reviewed, a groundbreaking new study from Georgetown University researchers points to a strong negative correlation between achieving tenure and caring about things. I reached...

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