To commemorate her mother’s birthday, local daughter Samantha Loughlin dug through the family archives for the perfect throwback picture to showcase both the wonderful person her mother is, and her mom’s...
The my.Whitman portal has long been critically acclaimed across campus for its “Whitman search” function. If you’re a student attempting to recall a vaguely recognizable name that your friend is...
Maude Lustig, Loves To Watch You Leave
• February 13, 2020
Most Whitman students are nowhere near ready to have a baby. Yet that doesn’t change the fact that our bodies are gross and horny, and if this was the Middle Ages we’d probably all have three little...
When I entered Whitman my freshman year, I heard about the exciting opportunity for club and intramural sports. It seemed like a sleek solution for those who wanted to play sports in a casual yet semi-competitive...
Elise Sanders, Dictionary Memorizer
• February 10, 2020
Walla Walla has been buzzing since Jeff Bezos and Kathy Murray signed an agreement to sell Whitman College to Amazon in order to increase funding for the school. The student body, however, is very divided...
As daylight savings time rolls around and seasonal depression settles over campus, the Welty Counseling Center enters its busiest time of year. In order to handle the excess of students clamoring to vent...
Maddie Ott, Munchkin With An Appetite
• November 21, 2019
Last year, Reel Rock was steamy. The greater outdoor community and their brave companions indulge in some of the most sexually explicit activity Maxey Auditorium has seen, besides Rocky Horror. Reel Rock...
After meeting with his lawyers this week to finalize his will, local turkey Albert Gobbleneck met me at a local diner to discuss pre-Thanksgiving stressors. “Ugh, this semester is killing me,” he said,...
Elise Sanders, Are You Satisfied?
• November 14, 2019
Autumn’s arrival in Walla Walla brings with it torturous cold air and freezing nights. Local man Aubrey Snow, wishing to combat the cold and save money on a winter coat, developed a seemingly foolproof...
Maude Lustig, Lover AND Fighter
• November 11, 2019
Since the discovery of fire many years ago, people and things that look like people have been throwing shit on the flames and seeing what they get back. We here at The Wire have gone through thousands...
On Thursday of last week, the day of dress-up and ghoulish delights, every clickbait-vulnerable parent’s worst nightmare came true. An 11-year-old, Little Johnny, received some assorted edibles in exchange...
Although technology in the digital age provides us with instantaneous connections and a wealth of information, the sheer volume of these resources can lead to a life full of distractions.
Sophomore...
