10 Things I Hate about You
This bisexual 90’s classic had my 13-year-old self confused and concerned for the ensuing 4 years before I came out. Something clicked in my gay little brain the very moment I saw Julia Stiles belly-dancing on a table to “Hypnotize” by Notorious B.I.G.
Julia, if you’re reading this, please know that I have endured heartbreak, sorrow and manipulation at the hands of the gay community, and it’s all because of you and your belly button. No, I will not be elaborating.
Robin Hood (1973 animated)
I have been accused of being a furry more times than I can count on one hand, but just because this movie is on the list, does not mean I’m a furry. Let me repeat, I am NOT a furry. This is not humor, I will not laugh if you come up and ask if I’m a furry, I just really liked this movie as a kid okay and I think it’s pretty gay.
I watched this movie hundreds of times as a child, so much so that I started to believe that every man looked like Adam Sandler, and honestly I still stand by that. So when Julie Bowen (pre-Modern Family MILFiness) came on screen, it was like a ray of light in my Adam Sandler-filled world.
Contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t seeing Kate Winslet’s boobs that gave me that special tingle, it was the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio looked like every young lesbian I had a crush on in middle school.
Christine Baranski wrapping the towel around that man was an awakening for me. Did I want to be the man? No. Did I want to be Tanya? No? Did I want Tanya to wrap the towel around me? Yes.
If you had a visceral, strange, unshakeable reaction to any one of these films when you watched them as a pretween, tween, or teen, please consider checking out the lesbian master doc.