Local Man/Hero Sings Along to ‘N’ Word, Checks to See if Nearby POC Heard

Annelise Ellingboe, Toddler Driver

FRAT BASEMENT, GREEKEND, 2018 — Amidst costumed sorority women and drunk fraternity men, a local white boy sang along to the N-word during a particularly bumpin’ play of Kanye West’s “Gold Digger.” After some anxious glances to nearby people of color, it appeared that his slip up heroically went unnoticed, maintaining his pristine reputation as Not As Bad As Some People. When asked for comment, a fraternity brother commented, “He is honestly an inspiration to us all here. It takes a really special person to use their freedom of speech that hard and still have a whole room of people pretend they didn’t notice it. TBH, bro, isn’t that what frat life is all about?” The hero’s fraternity is set to add his name to the Hall of Game, which honors men who demonstrate particular talent for altogether avoiding getting into trouble for things any other person would be chastised for. When contacted by The Wire, the hero just said, “I am glad that my legacy of slipping one in under the radar will live on … It’s a skill I hope to pass down to my fellow men.” A true man/hero, indeed. Further information about the date and time of the Hall of Game ceremony will be published soon.