If turds were poems; rabbits would write

Reed Hendrickson

Tooth, Toothi, Toothes?

Have you ever thought

What do people call multiple

Tooth, Toothi, Toothes

What makes it correct?

Like octopus to octopuses?

Octopus to Octopi

Or Octopus to Octopussy

Nevermind, that’s a James Bond movie

It must be Toothes


Bad Habits

Stopping bad habits is hard

Kind of like a bone

You can always try and break it

But it causes you so much pain

In the long run

Your bone will get harder

And you become strong

So break you bad habits

And become a stronger you



After eating two whole onions

I feel weird only eating part of one

Like my body has become adjusted to them

I must be an onion now

Made of many layers

I guess everyone is an onion

With so many intricacies



Let me knee you

Let me drop kick you

Right there

Very hard

Till you start to dislike it

I will pound you

With my knees


Sunlight Moonlight

Sun’s out guns out

I’m a douche bag

Moon out poon out

I’m a sex addict

Sun and Moon

I will Swoon

Everyone you know


How many tools does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they are looking in the mirror.

How many assholes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Depends on how loose they are.

How many toes does it take to screw a pooch?

One or two

How many times can I screw you?

Depends. Will you give me consent?



Nice things are nice

Like spring and girls in dress

Like winter and guys being gentlemen

The little things,

Like that smurf

Like your toes

So many nice things

So please be nice


Watch Out by Mozoolo

My brain is like mush

I scream and they tell me hush

I am trapped

Like a burrito wrapped

Being squeezed as my guts ooze out

I am doomed no doubt

Crunch mush smukku

I will be back though they do not know who



Blood toe, bloodly toes

I feel them draining

Like it is raining

Down from above

Please don’t shove

I feel the blood

Dripping like a flood

All over my body

Don’t call me naughty

But I enjoy it

Lickety Split


Four Lines

Roses are red

Pickles are green

Please sit down

And watch me cream


Roses are red

My balls are blue

Tell me you love me

And let it be true


See what happens

When you call me dirty

I know it’s crazy

But I like when you hurt me


Daisies are yellow

Fires are red

I like to say hello

To those who give me head