Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 8
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Romney’s 12th Commandment

 

The race for the Republican nomination has become a shitshow. While it seems as though Mitt Romney, former Massachusetts Governor, has a solid lead because he has won most of the primaries, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum are still fighting. One of Santorum’s campaign managers recently told reporters, “We are pretty sure we’re not going to win, but it’s still fun to screw with Romney.” Sadly for Romney, he has not caught onto this. He just came out with a new campaign slogan, based off of Ronald Reagan’s 11th Commandment (which Romney has totally ignored), “Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican.” Romney’s 12th Commandment: “Thou shalt do anything to win, literally.” So far he has stuck to it pretty well. He’s related himself to the lower middle class by having friends who are NASCAR owners, shown that he’s not really a rich jerk by releasing one year of tax returns where he pays less taxes than those who make $50,000 a year and making a $10,000 bet on TV, advocated for drug testing welfare recipients, backtracked on resurfaced views on national healthcare mandates, and by “not [being] concerned about the very poor [because] we have a safety net there.” He’s become such a relatable guy to the diverse population of the United States––how will he not win?

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