Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 9
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Bring Christmas to Your Finals!

Illustration: Eddy Vazquez

Final exams don’t have to be dreary and dull! With the help of the Backpage, you can make them exciting and just plain merry: by bringing Christmas to your finals! Here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Put jingle bells on the tips of your shoes and skip merrily into every exam.
  2. Bring tinsel, fake snow and a tiny Christmas tree and use them to decorate your test space.
  3. Sharpen the end of a candy cane and use it as a writing utensil. Chocolate ink has never been more practical: or delicious.
  4. Wait for it to get really quiet, then say in a normal voice, “What the cow IS a sugarplum, anyway?”
  5. Order a dancing Christmas-gram for one lucky someone in your class.
  6. Sing a different Christmas carol every time you start a new question. (“OOP, I’m pretty sure I mangled number four pretty badly, but here I go, moving onto number five: JOY TO THE WORLD . . .”)
  7. Fold the test into a triangle, fold it again, and cut out little designs with a pair of scissors. Unfold it, throw it in the air, shout, “IT’S SNOWING,” and leave.
  8. When handing the finished test to your professor, suddenly sit on his/her lap and say, “What I want for Christmas is . . . a Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle with a compass in the stock! Make it happen, big guy!”
  9. Bring calculator-shaped Christmas cookies to your math class, atom-shaped ones to your chemistry class, brain-shaped ones to your psych class, etc.
  10. When leaving the examination room, wave at everyone still taking the test and shout, “HO HO HO, MEEEEEERRY CHRISTMAS!”

Good luck on your exams, and remember: Santa didn’t even GO to college, and look where he ended up!

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