The ski team has managed to prove two things since it was announced that Whitman’s number one team is being cut.

1) They are NOT the most expensive team per athlete. The data that implied they were didn’t count coaches salaries.

2) They were never given a warning or a chance to try and save the school money – they had no idea.

Whatever, you cash-guzzling snow-fiends, we did some research. Here comes a blizzard of facts: COLD AND HARD!

HOW MUCH MONEY IS THE SKI TEAM HIDING FROM US?

Real Value of Ski Team:

$15 k for each of the four teams

Potential Value:

Value on eBay of Warren McDermott’s highly-oxygenated blood if sold at about 12 dollars per pint: $30,000
Nobody really knows how many pints are in the human body, but look at him. Dude has hella pints.

Money to be made by intentionally losing to the easily-bribed Vassar: $10,000

The value of friendship: $700

Retail value of Anti-Global-Warming-Machine that has thus far prevented global snow melt: $2,000