Be Scary. Be Safe.

Jack o’ Lantern
“My insides are burning… and it’s not because of the candle, it’s because of the syphilis.”

Black Cat
“I don’t hiss to be bad luck. I hiss because my genitalia hurts so much.”

Phantom of the Opera
“I still have phantom pains from my one night with my angel of music… she was dirty.”

Werewolf
“Hi! My name is Jared Wilson and I’m a victim of the STI wereism due to unprotected sex with a werewolf. Since then I’ve dedicated my life to informing everyone of the dangers of unsafe sex, because I’m not the only one with an STI. So remember that if you’re going out this halloween, be safe. Here are a few words from my friends to help you understand the gravity of the situation.”

Spider
“I’ve lost the ability to spin a web because of the chlamydia side effects.”

Tombstone
“It’s hard to rest in peace when you know a condom could have prevented the gonnorhea.”

Jason (of Halloween fame)
“I wear this mask to hide my cold sores. Also I have anal warts.”