The common Whitman scenario: your friend grew a beard in the first semester and didn’t shave said beard until winter break. Instead of shaving the entire beard off, they left a medium-sized caterpillar...
The annual RenFaire Murder Mystery happened this past weekend, and I got to say, it was quite a doozy. Joining the wealthy Asino family once again, there was, unsurprisingly, another murder (they really...
I know what you’re thinking: “How do I avoid the ghouls?” If there’s any singular problem which haunts this nation, it’s the ghouls. You are assaulted by them every single day, whether they’re...
Rachel Husband, in Canada for a boob job
• March 9, 2023
Ben Shapiro, a silly little conservative man with a podcast, is in the news (trending on TikTok) again because one person clicked on his livestream and noticed that his lips were an abnormal size and shape...
Lee Thomas, Chrome user with so many fun extensions
• March 9, 2023
After nearly an entire academic year of struggling with a persistent bug terrorizing Chrome and Edge browsers trying to access my.whitman.edu, Whitman College's Technology Services (WCTS) has resorted...
Ian Lewis, unsure if North counts as off-campus housing
• March 2, 2023
In what comes as a disappointment to supporters of living in places that are nice, Whitman Residence Life has announced that, rather than attempt to address concerns about current present housing options,...
Rachel Husband, trapped in a bathroom stall
• March 2, 2023
America’s second favorite peanut farmer, behind Planters Baby Nut, and former President of the United States Jimmy Carter is now in hospice care in his home in Plains, Georgia.
Carter has undergone...
This week, Whitman Security uncovered a treasure trove of listening devices inside a tree outside of Olin Hall. A total of 36 wired earbuds, six wireless headphones, 68 loose left earbuds, 54 loose...
Grace Canny, definitely not compensating for anything
• March 2, 2023
So you’re wondering how best to display your upper-middle class wealth over spring break? Here are three ways that you can get everyone thinking you are really cool - like so awesome - they definitely...
Ian Lewis, loyal servant of our printer overlords
• February 23, 2023
To the shock of the Whitman community and science at large, Wepa has gained sentience and become aware of its own existence.
While the exact circumstances of the cloud-based campus printing service's...
Lee Thomas, Anti-Lee Thomas Advocate
• February 23, 2023
This week, Whitman College unveiled its newly approved academic concentration in Human Evil. After nine months of collaboration across departments, the concentration invites students of any major to approach...
Grace Canny, this article is dedicated to Paloma Link
• February 23, 2023
You know and love them: CoHo cooks. Whitman’s own three aspiring chefs, creating a daring blend of flavors from Omaha, Seattle and Encitas. @coho_cooks on Instagram has risen to fame among the burgeoning...
