On the night of Monday March 30, 2015, after the first day of classes for most Whitman College students, President Jorge Ponts sent an official warning email to the entire community. Although it was hitherto...
President Jorge Ponts has shocked the Whitman community last week by coming out in favor of discarding the college's traditional mascot, the Pioneers" in favor of the Komodo Dragons.
Ponts' decision...
On page 777 of the 2014 edition of the "Fiske Guide to Colleges," the edition that the first-year class is most likely to have consulted, a student advises, "Prepare for celibacy if you're an average...
As the exclusively American "Greek" system is shunned by woefully unrespected celebrities such as Will Ferrell, Whitman has once again proven that everything about it goes above and beyond when Whitman's...
Lorry Walot took a whole three minutes to create the masterpiece that now hangs in the Stevens Gallery. The piece is a black cotton sheet. It is creaseless, without a speck of white thread or a puff ball.
Walot...
A member of the Missionary staff interviewed Editor-in-Chief Emma Johnson-Lee and Publisher Elena Hernandez about their time at Whitman College and working for the Missionary.
Missionary: What's your...
When you fly on a plane, do you prefer the window or aisle seat? Once in my life I totally preferred the aisle. My preference was based on practicality — when you sit in the aisle seat, you don’t have to ask anyone to move when you want to go to the bathroom. Besides, I always feel uncomfortable engaging with strangers. I like to avoid talking to my seatmates as much as possible.
What is to blame for this overwhelming amount of skin being shown at such a low temperature? It is barely 60 degrees outside, people! One explanation could be lack of Vitamin D — insert penis joke here. Quite possibly people are thinking of their bodies as solar panels; the more square footage of skin, the more recharged they will get. I think this one can be clearly expressed in the skin vs. skin game of Ultimate Frisbee being played right now — all shirts have been clearly banned. I also think I just saw a naked dude do a backflip! Maybe there’s some truth to this explanation?! Pretty soon we will all have developed so called-superpowers like waking up without coffee. It will be madness.
When examining works of art which define an era, one would be remiss to omit “Coco†by O.T. Genesis. In a style that can only be described as Shakespearean, the poet Odis Flores (better known by his pen name O.T. Genesis) relates the simple story of a man and his forbidden, unabiding love of all things cocaine.
But anyways, back to the story. I enter the cafeteria and find the usual suspects sitting at their usual table. The drama this week: Someone lost at bump. (For those of you who don’t know what this is... I guess you never had a childhood, I’m sorry for your loss).
When Michelle Ma sent out an email notifying all Whitman students of an "Emergency Alert," most students dismissed it as another mistakingly sent email. Indeed, mere minutes later, she sent out an email apologizing that she had mistakingly sent out the "Emergency Alert" and that everything was "just fine and certainly no need to investigate."
