Have you ever had a crush? The thought is horrifying, right? Even more horrifying if the crush isn’t based on an imaginative life you’ve dreamed for your Person Of Interest (POI), but actually from...
George Groebner, harbinger of the taxidermy apocalypse
• October 26, 2023
In the wee hours of a recent undetermined morning, all was quiet across campus. The air held an eerie stillness like an inexperienced fencer holds a saxophone. The clouds, had anyone been paying attention...
In the aftermath of the ASWC resolution that aimed to remove vending machines on campus under the banner of sustainability, a new battlefront has emerged at Whitman College, and this time, it involves...
Carmel Stephan, heard this one in safeway self checkout line
• October 19, 2023
There once was a man by the name of Shityphus, whose tale is sad but true, something to remember only in the chilling depths of a morning fogs brew.
Our Shityphus yearned to be a painter, to see...
Grace Canny, INFJ-A (Enneagram 5w4)
• October 19, 2023
You might have heard of Marriage Pact, a survey designed to help you find the most viable backup marriage partner on your campus, but are you ready for Villain Pact? It’s exactly what it sounds like:...
Whitman’s Department of Wordplay, primarily known for its bordering-on-hermitude reclusiveness and for stealing all the Scrabble tiles from residence hall game closets, has made a rare public announcement...
The Whitman Haunt Society is inducting a new ghoulish member at their annual Fall Break convention in the basement of North Hall. This is one of the last meetings held in the basement of North, as...
Living off campus brings so many new experiences! Grocery shopping, kitchen politics, being a chef every night and the chance to create a network of interwoven emotional, romantic and sexual relationships...
Meghan Kearney, reunited with civilization
• October 5, 2023
I was told two things were going to happen this weekend: I was going on a trip, and I would have a roof over my head.
I’d been teased about this mysterious adventure for weeks, with my future...
Alumni Weekend has swept over Whitman once again, flooding campus with former Whitties hell-bent on reminiscence and leaving behind a wake of wet outdoor tables. With reports coming in that the last...
The great Phil Collins once said, “I can feel it in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord.” But what did he feel? If he was in the Marcus Whitman Hotel these last few weeks then the answer would be gas.
Authorities...
Washington State Law RCW 66.44.270 prohibits those under 21-years-old from consuming, acquiring or distributing alcohol.
Personally, I disagree.
For the Whitman party scene in particular,...
