Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 6
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Buzzfeed Represents Constant Enumeration of Society

Kyle Seasly December 5, 2013
Whenever I log on to Facebook these days, I am plagued by a certain terror. People update their statuses with this link to a website that specializes in lists upon lists of useless information. I am talking of course, about the website “BuzzFeed.”
Punk Rocks Message in Myanmar

Punk Rock’s Message in Myanmar

Kyle Seasly November 7, 2013
In George Orwell's essay/short story "Shooting an Elephant," where he was stationed in Burma (now Myanmar), he remarked of the Buddhist priests: "I thought that the greatest joy in the world would be to drive a bayonet into a Buddhist priest's guts." It seems that certain punk rockers in Myanmar share a similar sentiment today.

Lou Reed: Personal Hero

Kyle Seasly October 31, 2013
In my angsty teenage days I remember walking around my high school before class began and blasting “Sister Ray” by the Velvet Underground. I can also recall a band when I was in high school struggling to play “Rock and Roll” by the same New Yorkers.
Banksy Comments on Modern Consumerism

Banksy Comments on Modern Consumerism

Kyle Seasly October 17, 2013
Do you ever judge things by price? Sometimes when feeling spendy I might buy the $4 pasta sauce instead of the two dollar Ragu. I assume that the four dollar sauce is better because the grocery store is charging me more for it, but I really don’t know. I let the price gauge the quality, which is a mistake, and a large one at that. And the street artist Bansky just proved that big time.

World Police Return to Libya

Kyle Seasly October 10, 2013
If you’ve ever watched "The Simpsons," you know that Homer Simpson has a good heart. He messes up (a lot) often because of poor reasoning or self-interest, but he tries to be better and is rarely ever truly malicious.
Pope Francis Sets New Tone

Pope Francis Sets New Tone

Kyle Seasly October 3, 2013
I love sleeping. That's why I hated going to church. Every Sunday I would have to wake up at 8 a.m. and go with my parents down the street to our Catholic church. I didn't mind going to Sunday school, because it would be later in the afternoon. When I was in elementary school, I remember reading a "Children's Bible" and enjoying the stories within. I still have the "Our Father" memorized, but for some reason I never learned the "Hail Mary."

Facebook Statuses Self-Promote

Kyle Seasly September 26, 2013
If you have a Facebook, you've probably seen certain articulate statuses that say something along the lines of: "uggggggh this is the worst." The poster will get a couple comments that question the person's motivation for this action, asking what is actually wrong, and the poster will not respond. Not only are these posts annoying and contrived, they're also extremely narcissistic. There seems to be no real logic behind them whatsoever, besides perhaps a call for attention. The poster is knowingly projecting their emotions of frustration into an extremely public space. Yet behind all the images on the screen there is a living breathing human being, knowingly pushing this image of themselves upon others. Facebook statuses are indeed an effortless way to get one's sentiments out to the public. But Facebook should cease to be a further tool for narcissistic behavior in a social environment that is slowly gaining distance from reality.
Bon Appétits new policy presents dilemma

Bon Appétit’s new policy presents dilemma

Kyle Seasly September 19, 2013
It’s always tough when a situation presents itself as completely unfair. Sometimes one has no words to express the frustrations at a system that intentionally screws people over. That’s how I felt when working at Jewett Dining Hall last Monday night when a co-worker informed me of a change in Bon Appétit policy.

‘In Utero’ 20 Years Later

Kyle Seasly September 12, 2013
Kurt Cobain, for various reasons, will forever remain somewhat mysterious. He was a killer songwriter, yet admitted blatantly to ripping off the Pixies in a Rolling Stone interview.
Eric Idle: the Pio Interview

Eric Idle: the Pio Interview

Kyle Seasly May 13, 2013
The commencement speaker and Whitman parent sits down with the Pio to talk writing, comedy and strange graduation rituals.

Backpage Stages Coup of the Pio

Kyle Seasly May 2, 2013
Last night, on the last production night of the year, the Backpage finally thwarted communism once and for all. Assisted by CIA agents and various members of a dogfighting ring, the Backpage staff members successfully staged a coup against the left-leaning “communist” senior Rachel Alexander and installed junior Shelly Le as the new “editor-in-chief” of The Pioneer. The members began to plan the coup after Rachel proposed “land reform” in the Pio office during an all-staff meeting.
Illustration by Emily Jones

Humans vs. Zombies Keg Sneak

Kyle Seasly April 25, 2013
Everyone knows what “4/20” means. And on Saturday, it had a very interesting twist… A keg sneak! Indeed, as everyone knows 4/20 was the start of the fad that is “Humans vs. Zombies.”
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