Ben Freedman, humor page editor
• October 20, 2016
Nearly five months have passed since the world lost Harambe, our last true hero. In honor of this milestone, The Wire turned to Whitties to recall the legacy of our fallen gorilla comrade....
The second presidential debate that aired last Sunday featured a smorgasbord of substantive policy discussions and comments by both candidates that will be cited heavily in the forthcoming history books...
Hello.
Me couldn’t help but notice you very pretty lady. You think me pretty too? Me wear ironic button up with tiny schnauzers printed on it. Me lather Axe bodywash to disguise stink flesh...
In recent years, the Interest House Community has felt an absence in their ranks. “Some students simply do not care about anything,” said IHC Resident Director Jean Nye. “In a way, isn’t a complete...
At the most recent faculty meeting, it was decided that the office of Student Engagement will no longer report directly to the Dean of Student Affairs, but rather the Dean of Faculty. The Dean of Faculty...
It’s been a tough run for the White Guys recently. In the past few months, they’ve braved the inaccurate media representations of Whites at Trump Rallies, indiscriminate and vague blame being placed...
I walk into Reid on a Thursday afternoon to pick up my mail and my senses are immediately bombarded with the sounds of our prestigious alumni and their hoards of near-identical spawn, checking in for...
Twelve o’clock descends upon the sweltering lawn as my attention is caught by a large sign with “Rick for President” written in large red and blue font. The activities fair is in full swing and my...
We all knew you could do it, Macklemore! Way to go! In case you’ve been living under a rock for the last week, hip-hop recording artist Ben Haggerty obliterated growing tension between the Judeo-Christian...
-Post-80s dance Prentiss brunch the surest sign yet that the apocalypse is nigh
-RA spends a heartbreaking amount of time making bathroom “Crush Board” poster that will be covered in phallic imagery...
Whitman is known for its active student body, but one group especially feels that it has not received the recognition it deserves. The Whitman White Male Club will be hosting an all day protest next Tuesday....
Illustration by Taylor Penner-Ash.
You pee sitting down just to have a brief moment of rest.
You stop washing dishes and instead start eating off of other household objects.
You...
