Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

What did YOU do last weekend?

What did YOU do last weekend?

Back Page Editors
September 19, 2007
Filed under Humor

Time travel! Right? Time travel? Oh, you went to the all-campus frat parties. Well, so did we...IN TIME!! No, but seriously, the all-campus parties are a hallowed and time-honored tradition that have been around for longer than anyone at Whitman cares to admit. We took a casual jaunt through some wormholes...

Spice Up Your Local Newspaper!

Spice Up Your Local Newspaper!

Back Page Editors
September 19, 2007
Filed under Humor

So, I assume you all read last week's issue of the Pio, right? Well, I hope you did, otherwise these jokes are already deader than that huge petrified forest in California. But anyway, you probably noticed that there's not exactly earth-shattering news going on most weekdays in Walla Walla... at least,...

Point-Counterpoint!!! Happiness Vs Tree(s)

Point-Counterpoint!!! Happiness Vs Tree(s)

Back Page Editors
September 19, 2007
Filed under Humor

Everyone knows we're the happiest people on Earth AND that the Princeton Review are the best, most controlled poll-takers anywhere. Look it up, it's a fact. Eighty six percent of you believe that, too. But what are we more proud of, our record-setting smiles or our record-setting Catalpa trees? What,...

Identity Crisis? We’re here to help

Identity Crisis? We’re here to help

Back Page Editors
September 13, 2007
Filed under Humor

So, y'all, how have these first few weeks at Whitman been? A good number of you already know where you fit in around here, but there's a significant demographic of newbies who may still be having trouble acclimating to life around these parts. That's where we come in. Nothing helps you discover your...

An Open Letter from the President

Back Page Editors
September 12, 2007
Filed under Humor

Dear Students of Whitman College, Here's me. I'm George Bridges. Not Jeff Bridges. This is Jeff. Yes, I know we're both wearing bow ties, but I thought of it first. Now, I've begun my annual letter this way for a reason. One day I was sitting in my office recuperating from a big fund-raising...

Dru Johnston

May 10, 2007
Filed under Humor

A senior at Whitman College and a former Webelo, Dru D. Johnston was unfortunately killed by facebook due to Mark Zuckerburg's new added "Kill!" feature. In his last moments Dru wanted to express that he is not angry at Zuckerburg, and that this new feature is probably for the best and he knows that...

Stephen Carter

May 10, 2007
Filed under Humor

Known to his friends as the exterminator, Stephen T. Carter unfortunately left this world on May 5th due to knee surgery complications in conjunction with a bear attack. In his tenure at Whitman, Stephen has become friends with many people, one or two of which he actually likes. He came to Whitman...

Note strangely found on both bodies: Stephen and Dru wish to apologize to…

May 10, 2007
Filed under Humor

Over our few years writing this page, we have offended a lot of shitheads… and we know it, and not just on the paper, in real life too. So, we feel like we owe an apology to several people for several different things. So, without further ado, we apologize to: -Every alumni ever who has thought...

A Couple of Thoughts

April 26, 2007
Filed under Humor

We at the Back Page have been inspired. Last week there was an article written by Natalie Knott entitled "What Knott is thinking." It was just a list of what she is thinking. We wanted to do that. It sounded like fun. So without further ado: This is what we think about. - If Dorian Gray were...

You know what this campus needs? Another Co-Op.

December 7, 2006
Filed under Humor

Seriously Whitman College, we've been doing some thinking here at the Back Page and we've come up with a solution for most, nay, all of the problems here at Whitman College. Remember the co-op? Well apparently it exists now, but they've been having some problems. For example, nobody knows about it. Also...

News Bits

December 7, 2006
Filed under Humor

by Alex Henke WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER Bong Hits 4 Jesus case goes to higher court, 'war on drugs' leaders compare Arab holy figure promoting illegal activity to terrorist Famous shithead Kenneth Starr is taking up the prosecutor's side of an ongoing court battle surrounding a Juneau, Alaska high school ...

News Bits

November 2, 2006
Filed under Humor

by Alex Henke WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER Castro found alive, walking: resurrection technology to be barred from US soil The presumed-dead and formerly presumed-not Communist Cuban dictator Fidel Castro released a video earlier this week showing him walking and reading a newspaper. Experts who declared h...

Whitman news since 1896
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