Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 6
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Illustration by Jonah Rosen-Bloom

Villain Pact coming to campus: Find your Backup Enemy

Grace Canny, INFJ-A (Enneagram 5w4) October 19, 2023

You might have heard of Marriage Pact, a survey designed to help you find the most viable backup marriage partner on your campus, but are you ready for Villain Pact? It’s exactly what it sounds like:...

Illustration by Gus Colwell

Department of Wordplay announces depletion of pun supply

George Groebner, officially witty October 19, 2023

Whitman’s Department of Wordplay, primarily known for its bordering-on-hermitude reclusiveness and for stealing all the Scrabble tiles from residence hall game closets, has made a rare public announcement...

Illustration by Helios Santoro

Whitman Haunt Society Inducts new member at Annual Meeting

Carmel Stephan, Sad clown October 5, 2023

The Whitman Haunt Society is inducting a new ghoulish member at their annual Fall Break convention in the basement of North Hall. This is one of the last meetings held in the basement of North, as...

So your off campus house has turned into a polycule…

Grace Canny, off the record October 5, 2023

Living off campus brings so many new experiences! Grocery shopping, kitchen politics, being a chef every night and the chance to create a network of interwoven emotional, romantic and sexual relationships...

Illustration by Gus Colwell

My Failed Attempt at Avoiding Camping

Meghan Kearney, reunited with civilization October 5, 2023

I was told two things were going to happen this weekend: I was going on a trip, and I would have a roof over my head.  I’d been teased about this mysterious adventure for weeks, with my future...

Illustration by Jonah Rosen-Bloom

Two weeks in: recovery efforts following Alumni Weekend

George Groebner, future alumnus October 5, 2023

Alumni Weekend has swept over Whitman once again, flooding campus with former Whitties hell-bent on reminiscence and leaving behind a wake of wet outdoor tables. With reports coming in that the last...

Unknown Chemical Fumes Emanate from the Marcus Whitman Hotel

Conor Bartol, who farted? September 28, 2023

The great Phil Collins once said, “I can feel it in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord.” But what did he feel? If he was in the Marcus Whitman Hotel these last few weeks then the answer would be gas. Authorities...

Illustration by Jonah Rosen-Bloom

Whitman Drinking Culture: It Must be Protected

Meghan Kearney, cultural curator September 28, 2023

Washington State Law RCW 66.44.270 prohibits those under 21-years-old from consuming, acquiring or distributing alcohol.  Personally, I disagree.  For the Whitman party scene in particular,...

Illustration by Payton Davies

3 students talk about Cleve

Carmel Stephan, guess which one is the self insert September 28, 2023

“Trisha Johnson, first year, undecided (deciding between psych or soc), athlete” Cleve is a pretty great place. It’s straightforward, I get my meal, I get my Cleve cup, fill it to my liking...

Illustration by Kai Bowen

Whitman’s Genetic Modification Lab resequences campus culture

George Groebner, 100% organically grown September 28, 2023

Whitties are abuzz and rumors are flying about the Genetic Modification Lab, the latest addition to the Hall of Science. Sequestered in a dimly lit corner of the sub-basement, the lab piques student...

An Archived Fear of Frats

Meghan Kearney, non-PNM September 21, 2023

Editor's Note: This article was initially published under the title "Your Unofficial Historically Informed Guide to Rushing." Revisions have been made since initial publication by the author.    To...

5 signs it’s fall

Carmel Stephan, seasonal expert September 21, 2023

If you’re from the likes of Portland or Seattle, September is already full swing in the quintessential images of fall. Things don’t work quite like that here in Walla Walla. September in good ole W^2...

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