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“WOULD YOU STOP SCREAMING AT THE WINDOW?! WE GET IT, IT’S SNOWING.”
I sat down, obviously scandalized by this latest update from the voices in my head. I mean, c’mon!! It’s snow. The Southern California boy that I am is panicking, crying internally, and attempting to resist the urge to run outside with mouth open to catch some snowfl
I sat down again, fully hydrated by the snow freshly melted within my cavernous piehole. There’s a distinct difference in drinking water and fully consuming snow (a watery SOLID?). Alas, I am truly happy.
Hi. I’m Anthony. I am the newest member of the blogging family here at The Pioneer. I like long walks on the beach, candle-lit dinners, [Wait, what? Oh, I’m not on the Bachelorette? Oh. That’s disappointing.] Anyway, I am here to present you with “Tastefully Idiotic: A New Blog”. I like to think of it as an amalgam (That’s the only big word I know and I will use it five times during this post. Let’s count together shall we?) of fun anecdotes that have truly happened to me, weird stories that my idiotic brain concocts, and bad jokes. Whoopsie, typo. Dad jokes.
To those of you who think, why should I read this? Why should I use my fingers to type out this goshdarn website name, click on “Blogs”, scroll to “Tastefully Idiotic”, and click on it? It’s simple really: you’ll find something to give you that little some ‘extra’ for your day. Whether that is the positive or negative denotation of ‘extra’, well that’s up to you. Truly, it’s an amalgam (two times) of idiocy, fun, and stories. There’s something for everyone! (AAAAND you can tell your friends that you truly, actually do read The Pio due to the fact that this blog is a Pio-sanctioned broadcasting system! Look at you, reading the newspaper and being all connected and stuff. You go, Glen Coco. Dang.)
I’m finishing up this post at The Patisserie in downtown Walla Walla. Have you guys heard of this place? It’s fantastic!!! It’s so nice to see new businesses cropping up in small Main Street, USA-towns like Walla Walla. (Yes, this is a joke. Shaddup, I know it’s bad. It’s the first post, for Chuck’s sake.) And as Baby, It’s Cold Outside comes on the radio, I know it is time to end this weird spiel that I’m calling my introductory post.
Ladies and Gentlesquid, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Reporting from the Coldville Street Patisserie, I’m Anthony Reale.
P.S. AMALGAM AMALGAM AMALGAM (that’s FIVE.)
[What do you mean it’s called the COLville Street Patisserie? It’s FREEZING. Of COURSE it’s COLDville. Shut up, Henry. Just because you’re my cousin. That’s the reason you haven’t been fired yet.]